two hours on a megabus later and i can confirm that FASTEN SEATBELTS is fertile ground for mental anagramming

my favorite is “beatles stan fest”

it says “return to nearest post office to report misuse” — should i leave the trash in it?

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just wondering if i should report this person so they can pay $1000 and spent 3 years in jail and peace can finally be restored to our streets

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not to double down on trashposting but do we think that putting your trash out in a USPS mail tote counts as “private use” if waste management is a municipal service

as far as i can tell you can learn a limited number of facts in your life and i’m skipping this one to make room for more later

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there are two light switches on the same panel in my kitchen, and i am pretty confident i will never be able to access the knowledge of which switch controls which light on a declarative level. that’s going straight into muscle memory and never coming out

yesterday i walked by this trash can and it was right side up with the lid on normally and the only sign on it was the one that said “TRASH” and i was like yes, i know

then today i walked by and it was flipped over with this new “scrap metal” sign and i realized i actually didn’t know. and neither did philadelphia waste management who i assume looked inside, found it empty, and left, vexing the would-be ex-owner

i’m the guy whose online experience is holding onto a goldfish bowl on the back of a jeep

i feel like if i thought really hard i could get an emoji proposal accepted

there must be at least one hand symbol they don’t have yet

while i was walking to the grocery store and back tonight i smelled one absolutely disgusting and three surprisingly good smells which is the best ratio i’ve had so far in any city


extinct cow gang